Book Review: What We Talk About When We Talk About God by Rob Bell
“How we think about God is directly connected to how we think about the world we’re living in.”
This was the first book that I both started and finished in 2019.
(You can find my full reading list here.)
Within the first couple pages of this book I remembered that I had read it before. Right after I moved to Niagara Falls a few years ago, but I decided to just go ahead and reread it. I love the premise of the book - reframing God as the God who is with us and for us. Not a God that is somewhere far away waiting to punish people, but rather someone who loves us and in the midst of good times and hard times and messy times, he’s right there in the middle of it with us and he is on our side, calling us to the next step of being the best version of ourselves.
Quotes & Notes
Holism is the reality that emerges only when all the parts are put together but can’t be individually located at smaller levels. (AKA: You are only you when you are you. Your elbow isn’t you, but it is you. Your foot isn’t you, but it is you. One atom of you is not you, but when all the atoms of you are together suddenly together they are you.)
The intellect has a way of building a fence around the heart, cutting us off from what we know to be true in a way that is hard to prove according to the categories in which proof matters.
The story of Moses seeing God’s back - one commentary says it like this: Moses got to see a glimpse of where God just was. I want to spend my life chasing glimpses of God.
Faith and doubt aren’t opposites. They are it turns out, excellent dance partners. You can understand something with so much conviction that you would die for that belief, and yet in the same moment say, ‘I could be wrong.’ Conviction and humility are not opposites.
In giving life to everything, God also gives creation the freedom to be whatever it’s going to be with all the possibilities and potentials for good and bad and beauty and chaos and love and loss that freedom might lead to.
All of life is sacred and holy. Interactions. Events. Tasks. Conversation. Work. Words.
The ground doesn’t become holy. Moses takes his sandals off because he realizes the ground has always been holy. You are already on holy ground - wherever you are.
We don’t transform our shadow side by denial but by entering into it, embracing it, naming it, because we believe that God is with us and for us.
What the modern world did in its fascination with parts and pieces is teach us that we are individual, isolated human units, talking and conversing and interacting, but not more than that. But we intuitively know there’s more than that.
We need reminders of who we are and how things actually are.
“And now I see God everywhere.”
2018 In Review
Weight
An ongoing goal in my life is to lose weight. I have a mental finish line for where I would like to be eventually, but from day-to-day it’s putting one foot in front of the other as I slowly inch my way forward. With such a big, life changing goal it’s hard to see any change from one day to the next, or some times even one month to the next, but this year I am happy to be able to look back and see change.
In 2018 I lost exactly 15 pounds! And dropped one pant size.
This means that I’ve lost 35.6 pounds in total over the last couple years!
I’m stepping into 2019 with the hope and plan of doubling my weight loss from 2018. :)
Books
I started 2018 with the idea that I wanted to read more.
Growing up I was a voracious reader - sometimes it didn’t even matter what I was reading, the act of reading in and of itself is something I enjoyed. But over the years with the accessibility of the internet, Netflix and binge watching - as well as a little bit of college reading burn out, reading got pushed out of my life.
I didn’t set an exact goal, but I knew I wanted to read more. So, I signed up for a library card and started bringing a book to work with me to read at lunch.
I tried to keep a blend of both fiction and non-fiction, and even read a couple of autobiographies that I really enjoyed. Some that stick out to me are Martin Short’s I Must Say, and Scott Harrison’s Thirst. I also ended up discovering two fiction series that I really loved - the Heather Wells comedic murder mysteries by Meg Cabot and The Lunar Chronicles by Marissa Myers - a futuristic fairytale.
In the end I managed to read 29 books in 2018, with 2 more books started but not yet completed. :)
(You can find a complete list of the books I’ve read here.
Debt
In 2018 I have successfully paid $4,862 off the principal of my student loans!
It’s so exciting to login each month and see the amount I owe go down.
I hope that in 2019 I am able to continue to pay this down, and hope to do so at a higher rate.
Events
2018 was a big year with trying new things, going on adventures and showing up for moments of big life change in the lives of my friends & family.
My Grandmother, Helga Wiedemann, passed away. Early in January of last year my grandmother was admitted into the hospital and after a routine angiogram experienced complications and passed away on January 8th.
My sister, Eve, got married on February 24th at a beautiful outdoor ceremony.
In March through a series of surprising events, I had my heart broken. It took me a long time to put the pieces together - maybe I’m still working at it - but because of this I started seeing my counsellor regularly. Seeing a counsellor has been a really, really great experience for me, and our monthly chats are something I always look forward to. Speaking with her makes me feel spacious and balanced, as if the world has more than enough for me.
It also led me to start meditating on a regular basis, take up yoga more seriously and begin reading my Bible, praying and journalling more regularly - all things that help me manage my anxiety.I participated in my first (and second!) vocal recital, and felt proud of the way my voice has grown and expanded since I started taking lessons a year and a half ago.
I photographed my 3rd wedding, and was so happy to have my sister Allysin as my second shooter.
I attended a few weddings. And I loved it! Wedding dance parties are one of the most wonderful highlights of life.
My niece, Acacia, was born.
I turned 30! And my best friends - Allysin & Brittany - planned me the most wonderful 80’s themed birthday party. It especially made me happy that all my friends came dressed to match the theme.
Went on my very first work trip with my boss Brady, and Kyle. Brady was speaking at That Church Conference in Atlanta and I was able to go along. It was so fun to get out and speak with members of our community in person. I love meeting people, connecting with them, hearing their stories.
Celebrated autumn with a chilly corn field adventure - one of my favourite days of the year.
Visited my cottage with my family for Thanksgiving and we took our family photos.
Review
As always, I’m so lucky! I have incredible, wonderful people in my life - family and friends who truly care about me and seem to enjoy my company and want the best for me. They hope for me and hold me up on the days that feel heavy. They believe in me and try to help me accomplish the goals I choose for myself, and support me in even the smallest victories.
Looking Forward
I hope 2019 is a year that feels lighter.
That in the coming year I’ll be able to see more of the things I already have in my life, and less of the things that I think are missing.
I hope 2019 holds a love story for me.
And more realized goals.
That in the next 365 days I will be proud of the way I spend my time. That I will continue to lose weight (and eat and move healthier) and read books and learn to be a more consistent, self-disciplined person.
That my faith will continue to weave itself seamlessly into every area of my life, and that the way I exchange my moments and hours and days will be intentional, and less by accident.
What is something you’re thankful for from 2018?
What is something you’re hoping for 2019?
Let me know! Leave me a comment.
The Wiedemann Family || 2018
Getting my entire family together for family photos is always a challenge.
The last couple of years we’ve managed to do so over Thanksgiving weekend.
You can find last year’s photos here: The Wiedemann Family 2017.
Everybody In!
Over the past couple years our family has grown as two of my sisters have gotten married, one had a child, and another adopted a dog. Fitting a large number of people - especially a large number of people who are similar heights, into a photo comes with challenges - but with the help of some chairs and a few volunteers willing to sit on the ground - we were able to get everyone arranged quite nicely.
Biological
Then we grabbed a couple photos of just the biological family.
The Grandkids
My mom specifically requested that she get some photos of her and my dad with her “grandkids” - my niece Acacia and my sister’s chihuahua-pug mix, Chevy.
The Martins
I wanted to make sure we finished all of the pictures with Acacia as quickly as possible. It was a little chilly out, and of course working with children is always a bit unpredictable. But she did great! She remained content to the very last shot. :)
The Van Ysseldyks
Next I took photos of my sister, Allysin, and her husband Kyle - and of course their puppy, Chevy.
Portraits
Finally we finished off with some headshots. My mom keeps a collage of headshots on her wall - one of each of us from each year. So now a yearly headshot is mandatory. :)
Word Vomit || I Have Way More Interesting Things To Do . . .
My friend Sarah was in town this week for a conference.
We went out for coffee, and while we stood waiting for our coconut milk latte (mine) and salted caramel hot chocolate (Sarah’s). She turned to me, “So,” she asked. “How are things with (that guy you like)?”
She already knows he rejected me awhile back and is wondering how I’m feeling about it.
How I’m feeling about being (still) single.
It’s a fair question.
This rejection was harder than most for me. I wanted it so desperately.
Dreaming of a future where we travelled and changed the world together.
A lifetime of staring into those blue-hazel eyes, laughing til our ribcages hurt, and finding creative ways to help humanity.
The problem is that this is always the question.
Only a couple weeks before I had run into an old friend from Waterloo, and one of the first questions he asked is if I was dating someone.
It’s the under current of my life.
Being single.
Not wanting to be single.
People wanting me to not be single because they know I don’t want to be single.
It’s like that scene from Mean Girls:
Cady: [voice-over] I was a woman possessed. I spent about 80 percent of my time talking about Regina. And the other 20 percent of the time, I was praying for someone else to bring her up so I could talk about her more. […] I could hear people getting bored with me. But I couldn't stop. It just kept coming up like word vomit.
Except change Regina to my relationship status.
Today I’m sitting at the lunch table at work.
I’m drinking coffee out of my re-useable S’well bottle. The Cinematic album from Owl City vibrating through my headphones; pumping hope through my veins.
Thirst by Scott Harrison, the Founder & CEO of charity:water, open to where I’ve paused reading in front of me - midway through chapter 18. Scott’s in the midst of a life transformation and is currently planning a huge fundraiser for Mercy Ships.
I’m staring out the window blankly.
I’m not paying attention to what’s happening around me.
I’m way more interested in what’s happening inside me.
I think I’m over it.
I think I have way more interesting things I want to do with my life than obsess about getting some guy to like me.
Don’t get me wrong - I want to get married someday.
It’s still a dream etched in the core of my being.
Who doesn’t want to be loved and chosen?
To have a hand to hold.
And a favourite pair of eyes to gaze into for the rest of forever.
But I can hear people getting bored with me.
And maybe they’re right to be.
Maybe somewhere along the way I became the one dimensional support character with no story arc.
Maybe I’m missing some depth because the pursuit of a love I can never quite reach has consumed me.
Heck. Let’s be honest - I’m bored with myself!
It’s like hearing the same story over and over.
Predictable.
Nothing new.
Same old.
Like, does no one else notice this same song has been playing on repeat for the last 30 years?
The repetition is kind of soothing.
I know how this ends.
But today, staring out the window at the trees relinquishing their changing leaves to the brisk fall breeze, I’m ready for something new.
A life of let go and adventure.
I’m ready for a life where the ending isn’t one I know.
Doesn’t that seem way more interesting?
Like a Bible verse I read during church on Sunday:
Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives. That means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original. (Galatians 5:25 & 26)
“We have far more interesting things to do with our lives”
I want a life worth living.
Filled to the brim with stories worth telling.
I have no doubt that someday I’ll get married.
I am brilliant, kind hearted and laugh-out-loud funny.
I am passionate and empathetic, optimistic and filled to the brim with purpose.
I am loving and lovely and worth chasing.
And one day I’ll walk into a party, or a conference, or maybe a wedding reception.
It could be coffee with an old friend, a blind date, or someone who messaged me on Instagram.
Or it could be adventuring with someone I already know, while we’re singing our hearts out, laughing till we can’t catch our breath, or almost crying while we talk about things that matter.
One day a man will finally look up and in one of those flashes between moments he will see me.
With all my facets
And I will be loved.
And in the blink of an eye everything will shift.
But until then I refuse to be boring.
I refuse to read the same chapter one more time.
I will no longer have the same conversations or let the same responses fall from my teeth.
This is my life.
My adventure.
And I have far more interesting things to do than be the side character with no story arc, obsessed with love.
I am brilliant and capable and in the middle of an epic story, and I refuse to live like anything less than the main character.
I don’t want to be “that girl - she’s single.”
I want to be “that girl - she’s going places. She’s changing the world.”
So when you talk to me - don’t ask me about my relationship status.
Talk to me about my passions.
About the things I’m learning.
Friends made.
Places visited.
Ask me about the plants I’ve grown.
My current dance party playlist.
The last dream I remember.
Talk to me about something a little more interesting.
Photo: Allysin Van Ysseldyk
Christmas List
Entertainment
Vinyl/Records
The Greatest Showman Soundtrack
Bleachers - Strange Desire album
JohnnySwimm
iTunes giftcards
Books! (Here’s my booklist)
Clothes
Bobby pins
Cute socks :)
Hair ties
Scrunchy
Slippers for the office
House Stuff
A cute welcome mat (it doesn’t have to actually say welcome. I want to use it for my shoes.)
Biodegradable bandaids
Cute bird feeder for my balcony
Reusable produce bags
Reusable snack bags
Salt lamp
Wake up light (Examples)
Wall calendar
White paint for my bathroom (1 gallon. I’m thinking either Whisper White or Night Blooming Jasmine.)
Eco friendly cork yoga mat